SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... OK I have ab-so-fucking-lutley nothing to talk about! aahhh too much going on right now and nothing really interesting to say about any of it Other than the GREAT Christopher Hitchens passed last night(E.D. note as of when I started writing this post.) it's truly a very sad day, but its always sad when reason and logic go so fast I'll miss reading and hearing from a man that walked in with a butcher knife and slaughtered sacred cows...
No matter what happens in the coming weeks, months, year...I'm making some big changes...and a few small ones as well... umm, like drinking more, OK so that's kind of a joke (sort of ) but for a long time now its been work...Home... rinse and repeat, I don't go out among the living much anymore and that's just going to stop I want to talk to people that I don't work with which is about the only people I do talk to right now.
I was talking about life and all the trappings with some of the girls at work the other day, about the ideas I have and the changes I'm making in my life and why...when all of a sudden..."So you going to get into a relationship again?" The funny thing is its not even something I really think about my (maybe someday Ex) wife and I have a really good relationship (I love her a lot, we're just not a good married couple) and while we have our "new" up's and down's and I don't think of it as a romantic type of relationship it works for me and I hope for her as well.
Anyway...Relationships umm yeah I don't think about it much, and by that I mean pretty much at all, ever. So I tell the girls its not an idea I have and all that get the judgmental looks with the "I think hes gay" pondering going on, whatever. So this is the deal I like being single, for a lot of reasons. I'm bad at relationships, for a lot of reasons, (but at least I know I am.) To be honest there's 2 women in my life that every girl I meet gets judged next to 1 is my (blah blah blah) wife, the OTHER...we'll she's about as amazing a person you could ever want to meet. Smart, Funny, Beautiful, one of my best friends and I am totally and completely ass over tea kettle for her (now if I could just tell her.) Well lets be real, If I had those big-a-Balls this would be a different post! I never fully say "NEVER" but I'm not that interested in going down those paths again right now and she has a pretty good life that I just don't want to bring my bullshit into.
OK...ENOUGH OF THAT!
again changes are coming slowly, like heading back to Iowa... we'll see how all that go's I think better this time. but what do I know I move about once a year maybe fort wayne Indiana next year and back to Boston the year after (LOL) so that's it... I said nothing and yet you read it
Later Peeps
Matthew~
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